Building Trustworthy Relationships

Let us therefore follow after the things which make for peace, and things wherewith one may edify another. Romans 14:19

Trust is a requirement in the world of relationships. It is a greater compliment to be told you are trusted than to be told you are loved.

Many a church leader assumes if he loves and receives love in return, the right atmosphere wherein God’s people can grow is created.

Love, however, is only part of the equation. Whether you are a leader in the church: pastor, trustee, treasurer, secretary, teacher; or a leader at home: husband, father, mother; or a leader on the job or at school; trust is the greater requirement.

The ideal atmosphere is when love results from trust.

woman carrying baby at beach during sunset

Trust is the foundation upon which a mature love can flourish. You usually have to stretch yourself beyond your current abilities when it comes to living and working with others. You have to develop skills to meet the challenges faced when dealing with others. You may be loved by your spouse or children, but that does not mean they trust you.

The ancient text instructs you to follow those things which make for peace and those things are connected with the edification of others. To edify is to build up that person. Every Christian duty includes the moral improvement of fellow believers. Building trust with a loved one or work colleague requires character and competence.

You have to become trustworthy in order to build trust. The challenging question:

Am I trustworthy?


originally published 30 April 2007

Take heed to yourselves

I came across an ancient text that read, “take heed unto yourselves.”

Take heed is not something we hear in everyday conversation! Perhaps we have lost the art and science of our own mother tongue?

To take heed is to be cautious, paying attention to all that is around you to protect what is within you. This self-management means you have the responsibility to minister to yourself before you can help others and exercise Universal Love.

To be effective for others, you must first minister to yourself. How do you do this?

man wearing gray and red armour standing on the streets
Photo by PhotoMIX Ltd. on

1. By patient application of established truths.

Set aside whatever time is necessary to stay true to core values. Rest and refreshment strengthens your God-given talents.  

2. By patient protection of established boundaries.

In the Exodus story, God placed boundaries around the Mount of His appearance and threatened to shot any who crossed the line! It is a great illustration for how you need to protect your inner man from outside influences that steals your love.

  • Take heed of boundary-breakers that abuse your standards.
  • Take heed of boundary-benders that tempt you to compromise your standards.
  • Take heed of boundary-mockers who are envious of your inner strength. 

3. By patient development of your soul.

All consequences are in your charge. You alone are responsible for your actions. Any change you want in your life must come from your relationship with God. 

To love the Lord your God, you must take heed: love God with all your soul and mind; love your neighbour as you love yourself.

When you take heed to yourself, you recognize God as your Creator and love what He has created. In this fashion you can love others and become effective with them.